Thanksgiving at RRH means one thing: a chance to carve up the birds. Last year, we anointed Anthony Weiner our first-ever Turkey of the Year. This year, the competition is even tougher.
The envelopes please!
Bob Kerrey: He came back to Nebraska to botch his campaign launch, generate a lot of talk, and lose Omaha on the way to a 16-point thrashing by an unknown legislator.
The New York State Senate Democrats: How many will caucus with the GOP? How many others will be indicted?
Joe Biden: What exactly was in his water at the debate?
Rick Perry: I'll tell you, there's three reasons he made the list...
Susan Montee: Peter Kinder made our list in 2011. Montee managed to lose to Kinder while every other MO statewide Democrat won, so she's an automatic Turkey.
Sandra Fluke: "You will pay for my birth control, and you will like it!"
Turkey Couple of the Year: Connie and Mary Bono Mack. At least they can now spend more time together at their home in Southwest FloridaRiverside County Virginia.
Sex Scandal Division
Your runner-up is the junior Senator from New Jersey, Bob Menendez, because apparently the senatorial salary of $174,000 isn't enough to cover his annual hooker expenses. No fighter for the 99% ought to have stiffed poor Caribbean working girls as he did.
And the winner is.....Scott DesJarlais! (But seriously, Scott, please just go away.)
Runner-up: Laura Richardson. For being smacked by the Ethics Committee, harassing staffers who cooperated with investigators, running out of campaign cash in October (what's the point in being corrupt if you're going to be cash-poor?), and not breaking 40% in November.
Winner: Ex-Rep. Jesse Jackson Jr. This special ought to be fun. Can IL-02 make it four in a row?
Turkey District of the Year
There's only one candidate for this honor: Michigan's 11th, which was home to more Turkeys this year than most districts will see in a century. But who was the biggest birdbrain? Kerry Bentivolio, the reindeer rancher whose own brother called him "mentally unbalanced?" Nancy Cassis, who couldn't even beat Bentivolio? Syed Taj, the newest member of AULSID, who passed up the chance to be a short term Congressman? David Curson, who....well, Curson actually looks OK here.
Nope, it's Thaddeus McCotter and his staff for staging one of the most bizarre and clueless cases of petition fraud ever seen. (This, of course, after McCotter decided to spend a few months running for President and writing a bawdy sitcom instead of doing his job.) And to top it all off, McCotter botched his resignation on the way out and forced taxpayers to foot the bill for a needless special primary.
The Biggest Turkey of Them All
As with last year.....was there ever a legitimate doubt?
The Piers Morgan clip sums up the train wreck; Todd Akin gets the nod not only for his "legitimate rape" moment but for his refusal to save the GOP by exiting the race, and his bizarre attempts at "damage control." Richard Mourdock made a late charge, but Akin held him off to take home the Top Turkey honors.